The Death of Common Courtesy

An incident ocurred to me about a year and a half ago. I wrote about it with the intent to make a submission to our local paper. I never submitted it.  However, my wife has urged me to publish it somewhere anyway. She thought it was pretty good writing.  So here for all the world to read (at least all two of my readers) is my belated article.

Friend found dead in hospital parking lot

It was a cold and snowy Friday night, December 19, 2008 at the Mountain West Medical Center in Tooele. An unsuspecting bystander sat shivering in the cold parking lot behind the Intensive Care Unit. Suddenly there was a flash of headlights and the crunch of metal and glass. It was unclear what happened. Perhaps there was a failure to check a blind spot in a foggy window. More likely, the thin sheet of ice on the parking lot created an unavoidable slide into the rear end of a parked vehicle. Whatever the cause, the bystander never knew what hit him…because the driver of the other vehicle disappeared into the night, never to be heard from again.

Meanwhile, the injured bystander lay gasping in the parking lot, praying for someone to rescue him. He lay only yards from discovery and help. His friend—an ICU nurse called in at the last minute to help with a staff shortage— was just inside the building caring for severely ill patients who would have rather been spending this holiday season in the warmth of their own homes and the comfort of their families. The nurse was unaware that his friend lay injured and freezing out in the parking lot. It was not until morning that the news of the accident reached the nurse.

At first, the news was only disappointing; it seemed that the tail light and rear fender of the nurse’s car had been smashed. It was an aging car that was in need of repair anyway. Perhaps it was not worth getting upset over. But, then came the news of the nurse’s friend. It seems that the person responsible for the accident had fled the scene and that no one discovered the victim until it was too late. Then disappointment turned to grief and mourning. The nurse’s friend, Common Courtesy, had bled, suffocated and succumbed to death. It was a needless death which could have been prevented by a little courage to speak up.

This is a true story. It is a story that is played out every day all over the world with increasing frequency. I mourn the loss of my friend (yes, I was the unfortunate nurse). I mourn the state of mankind that is worsened by this type of behavior. The loss is particularly poignant at this time of year when we all seem to preach and hope for more “peace on earth and good will toward men.” If our hearts are so full of good will why do we continue push, shove and growl at each other in the shopping lines? Why do we hurt each other and refuse to take responsibility?

Unfortunately, there is a cycle of action and reaction that is largely responsible for the death of Common Courtesy and other such social values. It is a cycle that is driven by fear, greed, anger and pride. The cycle often plays out something like this:

Mr. Smith accidently smashes into Mr. Jones’ parked car. Mr. Smith experiences fear of the repercussions of this event (i.e., the cost to repair the damage, possible civil/criminal consequences, increased insurance costs, a possible angry reaction from Mr. Jones). He may also feel embarrassed, because he believes he is a better driver and should have been able to avoid the accident. He does not want to admit failure or weakness. Fortunately, no one saw him do it, so if he just leaves and says nothing he can avoid having to face his fears and swallow his pride. Of course, Mr. Smith is a generally decent person, but the pain and sacrifice of having to confess and make reparations seems to be far worse than the small guilt he will feel for just walking away. A thousand justifications come to mind to soothe his conscience and tell him it will be okay if he just leaves and tells no one—so he does.

Later, Mr. Jones comes out and discovers his damaged car and is incensed because of the loss, which is now compounded by the fact that the culprit is not available to mete out justice upon. “If I could get my hands on whoever did this,” he thinks, “I would wring every last penny (and then some) out of them to pay for this damage! That would teach him to hit and run! If it were me, I would at least have the decency to take responsibility.” He then goes away fuming, and spouting to all who will listen how wronged he has been and how he will ensure that justice is served if ever he has chance to face the perpetrator.

For the sake of discussion, let’s say that Mr. Smith’s conscience won out and he sought out and reported the accident to Mr. Jones. To his surprise Mr. Jones rakes him over the coals and demands that he pay for the full repair of the car or he will sue him for damages and punishment. Mr. Smith is truly sorry, but is now facing what he feared would happen. He was just laid off and doesn’t have sufficient cash or insurance to cover the immediate repair of the car. He pleads for understanding but finds none and is forced to come up with some way to pay the price for his mistake. He leaves the confrontation devastated, but also angry that Mr. Jones could be so cruel and unsympathetic towards his circumstance. “How can this be fair,” he questions? “No one saw me. I should have just left and spared myself the pain and embarrassment. Next time, I will.”

And thus it goes day in and day out. Increasingly, the thoughtless and dishonest Mr. Smiths victimize the unfortunate Mr. Joneses. In turn the self-serving, angry Mr. Joneses punish the remorseful and well-meaning Mr. Smiths. The result of this cycle is the death of virtues that were once said to be “common”. Virtues like courtesy, sense, decency and integrity. Our litigious and self-serving society seems so busy demanding justice, individual rights and fairness that we find ourselves blindly rewarding the selfish, prideful, dishonest, and ignorant while punishing those with decency, integrity, and good sense. It is behaviorism at its best. Only, we find ourselves upholding the undesirable and destroying the desirable.

I can’t say exactly what my response would have been to the person who damaged my car if they had come and found me. I hope it would have been a response of understanding and forgiveness. I hope the person would have offered or agreed to repair the damage. If not I hope I would have had the patience to accept what I cannot change. If any of this would have happened, my friend, Common Courtesy, may not have died, but would have lived to hopefully become a friend to others.

My hope is not lost, though. I believe we as a society have the ability to save and even resurrect Common Courtesy and his fellow virtues. As for me, I will do my part to treat others with the courtesy my departed friend would want me to. Maybe then it will inspire others to do the same. And maybe, if enough of us commit ourselves to the behavior that these virtues produce, we will resurrect them and ensure their long and happy existence among us. And peace on earth and goodwill among men would become a reality.

P.S. If the person who hit my car is reading this, I would still be greatly consoled by a simple “I’m sorry”. If you would like to help fix my car in some way, that would be nice. In any case, I will be content with the apology. I honestly hope, with all sincerity, that you have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Revival, Hope, and Patience

I've been meaning to "revive" this blog for some time now.  I actually tried some months ago. I started by changing the template, and in the process screwed a number of things up. I haven't taken the time to fix it 'til now. The design is still bland, but I hope to remedy that before too long.

I have also intended to expand the scope of my content from my motorcycle-centered topics to more general and soul-centered content. I can only write so many times about my commute. I think my title will remain the same, though. The content will now reflect the winds that blow through my mind as well as my head, whether I'm riding or not.

To start off with I want to mention just a couple of dozen's of thoughts that I've had today. General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints started today. I love this time of year, as well as the Semi-annual conference in October. I come to enjoy the talks given by inspired men and women of God more and more each year. I am left with the desire to immerse myself in their words continually for the next six month, and then find myself wondering why I don't. I'll probably touch on several talks and ideas by several different speakers over the next few weeks as I read and re-read their words, but I want to mention a couple inspirational ideas now.

First, Elder Wilford W. Andersen of the Seventy spoke about Hope.  There is such a great need for hope in this world today. I have such a great need for Hope. There is so much that seems to seek to grind, beat and maim my will to hope and be happy. Sometimes I feel surrounded by filth and anger, dishonesty, destruction and despair within and without.  I have often thought, "How does one carry on in the face of such devastation?"  Elder Andersen spoke of the example of the early LDS saints as they were driven by violent mobs from their homes in Nauvoo, IL. The words of many of those saints echoed a common sentiment, "Their hearts were broken, but their spirits were strong." He compared this to the recent calamities that the saints in Haiti have experienced. They have suffered devastating losses. However, their hearts may be broken but their spirits are strong. The lesson to be learned is that, "hope and happiness and joy are not products of circumstance, but faith in the Lord."

I don't know how many times I have found myself born down by the weight of despair and unmet hopes and expectations thinking that if only my circumstances were different, I could be happy. While I know in my head that true and lasting happiness comes from faith in the Lord, it is frequently difficult for me to get my heart to understand the practical exercise of this concept. "Hope comes as a result of faith. If we would rebuild our hope, we must rebuild our faith.... True faith requires work.... Faith grows by keeping the commandments. We must work at keeping the commandments.... When we strive to keep the commandments of God, repenting of our sins, and promising our best efforts to follow the Savior, we begin to grow in confidence that, through the atonement, everything will be all right." I am beginning to finally learn that I truly can find happiness through righteousness regardless of my circumstances. And through sincere righteousness, I can find the patience to wait for the promises of the Lord, namely a fullness of joy, to come in His own time and in His own way.

That leads to the next thought I want to touch on, which is patience. I'm am certainly not a very patient person. I recognize this as being a significant source of my disappointments. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf spoke on patience during the General Priesthood session tonight and I found myself convicted with guilt, but inspired to be better. He taught that patience is a precious virtue at the center of a godly character. The lack of patience is a symptom of selfishness. The power of the Priesthood of God functions primarily on the virtue of patience. That is why we are given the Priesthood. It refines our character and prepares us for our eternal reward through the patience that is required as we serve others.

I am determined to be more patient. More patient with my family, my friends, my colleagues and especially with myself and the Lord. As with hope, I must trust that all things will work out in the Lord's good time. It is selfish of me to expect the Lord to cater to my every whim as if I were a spoiled child demanding that He please me right now. "The promises of the Lord, if not always swift, are always certain.... Knowledge and understanding often come at the price of patience.... In your patience you win mastery of your soul (Luke 21:19)."

I could go on and on with the many nuggets of truth and inspirational feelings that I have felt today, but I will continue later. Whoever you are, if you're reading this, I greatly encourage you to go and read or listen to the words of these servants of God again and again. They are true and they are the words of life.

Get up!

In my ponderings this morning, my mind has been drawn back to a poem, "The Race," that has been a source of inspiration many times in my life. I think I'll share.

The Race by Dee Groberg

I

"Quit! Give Up! You're beaten"
They shout at me and plead
"there's just too much against you now
This time you can't succed"

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failure's face
My downward fall is broken
By the memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene:
For just the memory of that short race
Rejuvenates my being

II

A children's race - young boys, young men
How I remember well.
Excitement, sure! But also fear:
It wasn't hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that,
At least take second place.

And fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he would be the one

the whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boy's desire

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running in the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud!"

But as the speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself
His hands flew out to brace
And mid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face

So down he fell and with him hope
He couln't win it now -
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished
To disappear somehow

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said:
"Get up and win the race"

He quickly rose, no damage done
- Behind a bit that's all -
And ran with all his mind and might
To make up for his fall

So anxious to restore himself
- To catch up and to win -
His mind went faster than his legs:
He slipped and fell again!

He wished that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now;
I shouldn't try to race."

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his father's face;
That steady look which said again
"Get up an dwin the race!"

So up he jumped to try again
- Ten yards behind the last -
"If I'm going to win those yards," he thought
"I've got to move real fast."

Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten,
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again!

Defeat! He lied there silently
- A tear dropped from his eye -
"there's no sense running anymor;
Three strikes: I'm out! Why try!"

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
so far behind, so error prone;
A loser all the way

"I've lost, so what's the use," he thought
"I'll live with my disgrace."
But then he thought about his dad
Who soon he'd have to face

"Get up" an echo sounded low.
"Get up and take your place;
You were not meant for failure here.
Get up and win the race."

"With borrowed will get up," it said
"You haven't lost at all
For winning is no more than this:
To rise each time you fall"

so up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved that win or lose
At least he wouldn't quit

So far behind the others now
- The most he'd ever been -
Still he gave it all he had
And ran as thought to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling;
Three times he rose again,
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high, and proud, and happy;
No falling, no disgrace

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the lin last place,
The crowd gave him the greatest chear,
For finishing the race

And even though he came in last
With head bowed low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
to listen to the crowd

And to his dad he sadly said,
"I didn't do too well."
"To me, you won," his father said
"You rose each time you fell."

III

And now when things seem dark and hard
And difficult to face
The memory of that little boy
Helps me in my race

For all of life is like that race
With ups and downs and all
and all you have to do to win
Is rise each time you fall

"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!"
They all shout in my face
But another voice within me says;
"GET UP AND WIN THE RACE"

Quoted from http://brucelynnblog.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!B5C035B7809F740A!112.trak

Evolution

The principles of evolution indicate that if something fails to adapt to changing circumstances it may cease to exist if those circumstances are incompatible with the nature of the thing. I have discovered that this has become the case with my blog. Clearly it has been neglected by its author. (It doesn't have any readers I know of, so neglect has been status quo from that aspect). I have feared that I may have to lay this blog down to rest with the millions of unattended blogs that float out there in "the cloud." But I do like this blog, and I want to make a second effort to give it life. So, I will adapt.

Head In The Wind is not only a great metaphor for the life of a rider, but I find it a great metaphor for me. Sometimes, I feel as if my head is in a whirlwind. My thoughts become chaotic and indistinguishable; a blur of debris. Other times the wind is rushing by briskly, life moving fast, blowing me from one moment to the next. But occasionally the wind slows to a calm breeze that carries with it sweet aromas of inspiration from a far off place. With that in mind, I intend to expand the scope of this blog to include more aspects of me, than simply my motorcycle. My iron ride is still part of who I am, but I am going to include more facets of who I am. In doing so, I hope to draw from and increased scope of content to fill the space here and keep this blog alive. Since I have no readership to offend, change shouldn't be a problem.

-------

Before I finish this post, I should at least update how the remainder of my summer of riding has been. Well, generally.....uneventful--up until about 2 weeks ago. I was riding home after work and experienced my first blown tire. It happened as I was coming through the construction zone on 201 between Bangerter Hwy and 5600 W. I was passing a dump truck that was parked over on the construction side of the road when I heard this massive BANG! It scared me to death and I'm surprised I didn't jump off my bike. It felt so close, like it was right on me. A few seconds later as I collected my nerves, I felt my bike begin to shimmy a little like it was being pushed around by a stiff cross-wind, but there was no wind. Then I notice that the shimmy was more isolated to the back end like my back end wasn't tracking straight with my front end. That is when it dawned on me that perhaps the big bang was not from the construction but was from me. I started to slow down as the back end began to wobble more noticeably. By that point I was out of the construction zone, and no cars were around me so I was able to pull off the road without any trouble.

Now what do I do. It was actually Ethan's birthday that day, and I was supposed to be home in 15 minutes to conduct festivities. Well, that wasn't going to work. Fortunately my good friend, Rob, the motocross champ, happened to be home just then and with a quick call he was able to come out with his trailer and haul my crippled self home. Thank goodness for good friends. It was also reassuring that a couple of other riders stopped to see if I needed help. I love the fact that fellow riders stick together like that.

While it has gotten colder, there have been some beautifully warm days this last couple weeks that I have missed out on. I'm hopeful that I'll have the time to get a new tire on, so I can catch the occasional clear day throughout the winter.

So with that, let the evolution begin.

I'm a Slacker...Still!: Part 3 - Test drives

Okay, I can't believe another 2 weeks have gone by and I still haven't completed my "Slacker" series of posts. So I'm going to cut the series short and get on with it.

I mentioned that during part of my absence I was on vacation for a week in Disneyland. It was great. We took our 4 kids and went with my sister and her family and her in-laws. We had a blast. One day I hope to take a ride along the California coast. My wife has posted pictures and a "travel-blog" on our family blog at jodedeballen.blogspot.com. It's a private blog, so if you don't already have access and would like to see the blog, contact me so I can give you access rights. One caveat, though, if I don't know you personally, then I probably won't give you access. No offense, but safety and privacy still need to be protected.

Anyway, Test rides! While I was waiting to have my drive chain replaced at Rapid Cycle, I had the opportunity to test out Hyosung's GV650SE and GT650R. It was a great experience for me. Albeit, I still consider myself a newbie; I've only ever ridden two other models (my '80 Kawi 250 and a Honda Rebel). I was a little nervous of how I would handle a "big" 650. Yes, I'm a sissy. But it went really well and I feel much more confident in trying out different bikes now. Here's a rundown of my experience

Hyosung GV650

What you see here is the Special Limited Edition, 30th anniversary model, which I was able to ride. When I first saw the GV650 a year or so ago, I didn't like the looks of it. It was too different from the classic cruiser styling that I was accustomed to. There are still things about its look that I don't care for...but it has grown on me. And now that I've ridden it, I would be glad to own it. Coincidentaly, I was looking at the Harley-Davidson site the other day and was surprised to see that their V-Rod series is very similar in styling. I'm sure everyone else already knew this...but it was news to me. Anyway, after taking the bike for a short spin of the parking lot to make sure I wouldn't fall off, I took it out on the road. I was limited to just some surface streets, so I couldn't put it through rigorous paces. Although, I don't trust myself yet to be very "rigorous"... at least not with someone else's machine. The ride was great. I had in my mind that the 650 would be amazingly more powerful than the 250, verging on uncontrollable. Remember...I'm a newb. There certainly was a huge difference in accelerating power, but I wasn't at all afraid of rocketting the bike out from under me like I did with my buddy's 450 dirt bike. The sitting position is more extended than my 250, which I liked. Going from my old upright Kawi to the GV250 was quite an adjustment. Now my 250 feels upright compared to this 650. The dual front and rear disc breaks provided smooth and solid stopping power. Turning was well balanced and controlled although, it initially feels a little more sluggish because of the increased rake angle of the front forks. It just requires a little more counter pressure than I'm used to. I love the idea of the belt drive, and while '09 Hyosungs have fuel injection, the dealer says we probably won't see those models in the States 'til next year.

Hyosung GT650R

My next step was to take a spin on the GT650R. They have an 'S' model as well which has a higher handlebar height. The 'R' model is designed more for racing. This was my first time on a "bullet bike", so of course, I was afraid that I would do something crazy like pull wheelie down the street, fall off, or get a ticket for going 800 mph in a 40 and T-bone a car. But once again, my naive fears were unfounded. I really felt no difference in power than I did with the GV which, again, was really not mindblowingly different than my 250. The riding position was extremely different though, obviously. Like I said, my old Kawi sits pretty upright and is quite a difference from the GV models. But this is completely to the other extreme. I felt like I couldn't fiind the footpegs until I was practically laying on my stomach with my feet out behind me. No, it wasn't that bad, but it made my old Kawi feel like a cruiser instead of a standard bike. Also, having your hands positioned so close to the midline of the bike also felt weird. Once I got over the new position, though, I rather enjoyed the ride. The turning response is definitely more sensitive than the cruiser, but is not outrageously different. I also discovered how much pressure the forward position puts on your hands. I don't think I could ride comfortably like that for too long, but again, I don't think I would mind owning this bike either.

All in all, it was a good experience to be able to try something new. I'm going to have to set aside some time and go check out the Harley dealership and see if they are all that now that I've ridden a couple lowly Hyosungs. I think I have definitely confirmed that I'm a cruiser type of guy. The sport bikes seem fun, but I really feel best on the cruiser... for now. So there you have it...for what it's worth.

I'm a Slacker: Part 2 - a new chain

As I mentioned back on May 6, I had some sort of strange vibration start up after I had tightened my chain. I probably took longer than I should have getting it into the shop to look at it, but I finally got there. I explained the problem to the mechanic and his initial thoughts was that I had messed up the alignment of the rear wheel when I tightend the chain.

If you're not familiar with motorcycle chains, tightening one is essentially the same concept as a bicycle. You losen the rear axel and slide it back until the chain is the proper tension, making sure that the axel stays perpendicular to the midline of the bike so the wheel doesn't "wobble" when it turns. Most motorcycles have notches on each side of the axle to assist in the alignment. Theoretically if the axel is lined up with the same notch on both sides then your wheel should be straight. The mechanic says this isn't always completely reliable so they have other more rigorous ways to check alignment. I still need to learn what those are.

Anyway, when he got checking it, the alignment was okay, which made me feel better about myself. What he did find, however, was a section of the chain that was corroded. This caused some of the links to not fully straighten and bend at the joint. When the damaged portion of the chain would pass over the sprockets it would not fully bend or straighten out. This caused the chain to be extra tight during part of the rotation and loose for the remainder. So there was no way to tighten the chain evenly. The vibration was caused by the repeated tightening and loosening of the chain as it went around.

The cause of the corrosion was probably due to a lack of proper lubrication and winterizing of the chain. I was a little surprised at this since I road my bike most of the winter. I only road when the roads were clear and dry, but I road most of the time. However, there were a period of a week or 2 here or there that I wouldn't ride at all. I hadn't been lubricating the chain as frequently as I should, so I can imagine between that, the down-time and the winter road salt, the corrosion probably set in relatively quickly. The chain was getting pretty stretched anyway, so I probably didn't loose to much chain life, but it was a good reminder to properly care for my chain. That's one of the last things you want failing on you as you cruise down the freeway.

So, I got a new chain. A stock chain for my bike costs about $50, but they only had a high end $90 chain. The life of the high-end chain is supposed to be double that of the stock chain so I figured it was worth the extra money.

Part 2 down; a few more to go. Thanks for dropping by and keep the shiny side up.

I'm a Slacker: Part 1

Okay, so I'm a huge slacker. I call this "Part 1" because I'm sure it may take me several parts and several days to catch up on a month of thoughts that have been blowing through my head. Obviously, creating a blog that people enjoy reading probably requires consistency, if anything. Sure, good writing style and good content are important, but who cares? If you don't write, what will they read? Now that I've chastised myself, lets get down to business.

This last month has been a good riding month...for me, anyway. At least 2 weeks of it have been filled with storm clouds and rain. Lots of it. In fact this June has been the 9th wettest on record. To this point in June, the state is around 300% of normal rainfall. Now, I've noticed that this has deterred a lot of riders, but not me. Why, you ask?

Well first, my car's registration expired at the end of May and I haven't renewed it because it has a massive crunch where it's right tail-light should be. Thanks to some unknown person who kindly slid into it and drove away while I was pulling a nightshift at the hospital back during Christmas break. It is now in the shop getting it's butt fixed.

Second, my wife is building up a little day-care business and needs her car to haul around the kids, though now she just about has more kids than she can haul and travels less than she used to. But she needs the van, so I can't use that.

Third, I've been too lazy to get up early enough to take the bus an hour and a half each way. It's great reading time, but I'm just not in the mood.

Finally, I just love to ride. So, I try and time the storms so I get to work and back between cloudbursts. The nice thing about Utah weather is that it rarely rains constantly. Sure it's been stormy for 2 straight weeks but the drizzles, showers and cloudburst are usually short lived and have nice gaps between them. It's kept the temperature in a real nice range too.

I did get caught in a couple showers though, and one really good soaker. I have only riden in the rain once or twice last year when I got caught about 5 minutes before I got to work, but I made it in before I got too wet. This time though, I wasn't as lucky. A couple weeks ago I tried to time it between two big showers and failed. Half of my ride was in the rain. Part of the time it was coming down in big, cold drops that would run like a river down my jacket and puddle on my seat right between my legs. Woohoo, that is not a fun sensation. Then it started hailing for a few seconds and gave my knuckles a fair punishing, though it was only pea-sized hail. Much bigger could have really started to suck.

After these few episodes, riding in the rain--the Utah rain, anyway--isn't too bad. I don't mind getting wet. I do need to get a good rainsuit though. The main trick is to avoid it if you can, but if you get caught in it, just slow way down, try and stay out of standing water and ride in the tracks of the cars ahead.

Well, I could keep going, but this post is starting to get a little unwieldy. I'll pick it up again in part two. I need to update you on that mechanical problem I mentioned back on May 6, tell you about my Disneyland vacation, my test ride of the Hyosung GV650 and GT650, and throw in some nice tidbit of motorcycle safety information. Stay tuned.